Community Spotlight: Mark & Rebecca Blackwell of the Virginia Marriage Initiative
Building Marriages That Leave a Legacy
A few weeks from now, Mark and Rebecca Blackwell will celebrate 30 years of marriage. For almost 20 of those years, they have also been walking alongside other couples, helping them build marriages that last and leave a legacy.
Where It Started
Mark and Rebecca's work in marriage ministry began back in 2008. Rebecca served on the board of a local marriage organization, facilitated classes, and helped lead programs. At the time, they had two young children, and soon a third. Life was moving fast, and they knew their marriage needed to stay at the center.
Rebecca still remembers the advice her dad gave her during that season: "It was the two of you before it was the three of you."
That simple truth shaped everything. The Blackwells started a marriage ministry in their church with small groups and date nights, and they quickly saw how much couples valued that time. They practiced what they taught, too. With family nearby to watch the kids, they went away together every year and made sure to have a date night at least once a month.
Today, their three children are adults, and they see what that example meant. "So many of their friends don't have parents who stayed together," Rebecca shared. "They see the impact it had on their lives, and they're passing that down."
The Blackwells received that same gift. Rebecca's parents were married for 58 years before her father passed away, and Mark's parents have been married for 63.
The Virginia Marriage Initiative
In 2024, after Mark retired, the couple reconnected with Keith Tully of FamilyLife and launched The Virginia Marriage Initiative. Its purpose is to connect churches to the community and the community to churches, all focused on gospel-centered marriage.
Rather than running every program themselves, the Initiative equips others to reach couples where they are. That includes a coalition of partner churches, along with "marriage champions": couples who have a heart for marriage and lead small groups or date nights in their own churches, plus speakers, authors, and business owners focused on strengthening marriages. The Initiative helps connect couples to small groups, mentoring, coaches, and counselors, depending on what they need.
Through her marriage coaching business, Rebecca has seen firsthand how much hurt in marriage can be avoided. "People just don't know what they don't know," she said. "God blessed marriage in the Garden of Eden, in the beginning. Our humanness has taken it to where it is. But the idea is that we can go back to that place and find peace."
Stories of Changed Marriages
Rebecca recalls one couple she coached who had been married more than 30 years and had been struggling for a long time. They had lost a child and never truly grieved or came together through that loss. As they learned to pray together, put God first, and remember that His plan for marriage is oneness and not division, things began to change. After their coaching, they told her their marriage was in the best place it had ever been, even better than when they were first married.
The Blackwells are seeing that kind of hope spread. Many couples, especially empty nesters, are eager to invest in their marriages again. After one church date night, couples married for 50 years shared that they had started going on dates again for the first time in years.
"When the kids go off to college, a lot of couples don't know who their spouse is anymore," Rebecca said. "We're so focused on doing life that we forget to focus on our spouse."
Start With a Date Night
So what would Rebecca tell a couple who feels too busy, too tired, or too stretched to make their marriage a priority? Start with a date night.
It doesn't have to be expensive. Put the kids to bed early and have dinner at the dining room table by candlelight. Peanut butter and jelly or takeout, it doesn't matter. What matters is choosing something where you can actually talk. Put the phones away. Don't talk about the kids, school, or work. Talk about yourselves. Pull out the wedding album and remember who you were when you said "I do."
"Your kids will thank you for it," Rebecca said. "They'll be okay. They'll benefit from the fact that you're focused on each other."
She also offers a helpful comparison. At work, we meet regularly with our boss to talk about progress and set goals. We fill up our cars with gas and use a map to know where we're going. "We invest in our cars. We invest in our jobs. Why aren't we investing in our marriages?"
Join Us for Date Night at Needle's Eye
Needle's Eye is partnering with The Virginia Marriage Initiative to host a date night for couples on Friday, October 23. We’re excited to offer a time for our Needle’s Eye community to come and spend time investing in their marriages!
Expect a fun, relaxed evening where you'll:
Learn how to set goals for your marriage
Explore how you communicate with each other
Enjoy fellowship with other couples
Spend dedicated one-on-one time with your spouse
Whether you've been married two years or fifty, this is your chance to carve out time to learn, connect, and make a plan for the road ahead.
Friday, October 23rd | 6:00-8:30pm | 2550 Gaskins Rd
Register here!
To learn more about The Virginia Marriage Initiative, visit vamarriages.org.
